J-Speak

After reading a post from a fellow journalista, I just knew I had to write a post like it.  After 15 years in the teaching biz and more than 20 in the journalism biz, I have collected a few fun bits of phraseology for the days when my students just make me let out my sarcastic, silly side.

1 – “Joe Bob said.”  This is my way of letting my kiddos know that you really only have one way to write attribution on a quote.  Joe Bob is an homage to my first Sports Editor/boss/friend Jim Bob Gleason at the Angelo State Ram Page.  In West Texas, no one ever goes by James Robert.  No one.

2 – “Enhance Your Calm.”  This is my way via that old ’80s flick Demolition Man of telling my students that the time for talking is over.

3 – “Life is not fair, you should get used to it.”  Self-explanatory.

4 – “Ya’ll might want to get some work done today.”  Kind of my way of letting them know that there are deadlines coming up and that their grade is attached to meeting them.

5 – “You better remind me…” and “If it’s not written down, it’s not real.”  My kids know that I have the memory of a gnat or the fish Dory in Finding Nemo.

6 – “Eyes Front”  That means put down all electronics, and actually look at the board or me.

7 – “The universe keeps making better idiots, while we try to make things idiot proof.  The universe is winning.”  Whenever someone messes up something we tried to make really, really easy – like picture day.

8 – “D is for diploma.”  Usually said to lighten the mood when a high flyer is worried about their grades or GPA.

9 – “We have issues.”  Kind of a motto around the journalism room.

10 – “Deadlines really amuse us.”  Mostly a yearbook thing.

11 – “A Ewe is a female sheep, why is it in your story?”  This is to help remind them that we don’t use the word ‘you’ in journalism, except in a direct quote.

12 – “Good, Cheap, Fast – pick any two.”  This is usually for my video kids, who want to find a shortcut for everything.

13 – “Shortcuts = Fail.”  This is actually a new one.  But I like it.

14 – “You can do it your way or the right way.  Eventually you will have to redo it the right way.”  This is for those kids who just have to learn things the hard way.

Maybe I’ll start writing them down for part II of this post.

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